So, a friend of mine is prepping for her green sash test and she sent me a message very disheartened and worried. So I sent her back this advice. Then I realized that if I was going to take the 2nd green some time in the next year or so, I might be needing this advice again. So I’ll store it here to remind me! (and maybe you can take something from it)
Ok… deep cleansing breath.
First of all, I sympathize with you. I’ve been there and I was really FRICKIN’ scared to FRICKIN’ death every minute I practiced for the test. {Senior Student Who Helped Me} is VERY helpful, but every time I did my chin nah for him he tweaked it. Sometimes significantly. Every now and again he just shook his head and said, “I wouldn’t do that”. It was helpful, and mentally debilitating at the same time. Eventually, either he gave up or I gave up getting advice from him because it was too close to the test. I made a conscious decision to go with where I was at.
It’s the same thing with your combinations. Decide on how your partner moves in your head. If you are practicing with a partner and they move differently, don’t worry about it. Make sure your combinations flow in your head and then practice them to make sure they flow with your body, give up on trying to have another human being behave exactly how your mind works. It ain’t going to happen. And three years from now, you are going to think about how silly your combinations where no matter how much you work on them. Pick your combinations now. Decide. Memorize. Rep. Let go of any type of perfection you want to achieve. A big part of passing a test is realizing you have a LONG way to go.
Work your form. Make sure you can relax into your form and still have power. Work on speed, but not on going through your form fast, but responding and decimating each partner individually; each block and strike has a rhythm to it. I speak from experience that you really want to be able to relax during your form. Remember I had a cold during my green sash test and couldn’t breathe properly. The only way I made it through was relaxing my body as much as I could so it wouldn’t take unnecessary oxygen.
As to whether you “should” take the test or not, I would tell you that it doesn’t matter. Your test doesn’t really change anything. You will be the exact same if you pass or fail. You’ll have the same insecurities and the same doubts. They will be more obvious to you when you have a green sash on, but they’ll be the same ones you have right now. The green color will let you examine them on the surface instead of in the dark recesses of your mind, but that’s just a matter of intensity (like how colors seem to be shades of gray in twilight). The training for the test and walking into the test is really what’s important. You are never ready for the next color. And won’t be for months (or in my case years) into being that level. It’s like school, you’re a junior in high school, you really only feel like a successful junior when you graduate to the next level, but then you’re a senior.
I know Sifu thinks that you are a successful student who’s conscientious about her practice. I doubt he thinks you are the greatest, strongest, fastest, toughest, or most disciplined person that has every walked into the dojo. You’re a good student and should take confidence in that. If you want to be the greatest student ever in the dojo, let go of that. I know you are probably saying, “that’s not it; that’s not what I’m saying”. But on some level it is. You want to be better then you are right at this moment in order to take the test. And if you don’t take it until next year, you may be better prepared, but you will feel the same way. So, the advice I gave to myself, when I was in the same situation was, “get on with it.” Just get on with it. The test sucks. It sucks big time. It was miserable. I still hated my second yellow worse, even with the sparing, but it sucks. If you have the guts to walk in to the dojo that day and put your best into it, then you are worthy of the green. I think that’s what it takes; it’s walking into the dojo with whatever tools you have that day.
I think you got enough tools. So just get on with it.
