TigerJ13 – Days of Change

I can’t wait until people read this and start yelling I’m out of my mind.  It should be fun. Overtraining.  Everyone says it’s bad.  It’s the bane of every college foot ball team.  I say nay!Let’s give you an example of my work outs last week:

 Monday4:00 AM – Elliptical trainer carrying 7.5 lbs weights curling for 15 -20 minutes, Pushups, Situps, Stretch4:00 PM – Forms for a half an hour (heart rate ave 160 max 178), stretch 

Tuesday4:00 AM – Elliptical trainer carrying 10 lbs weights curling for 15 -20 minutes, Situp Stretch4:00 PM – Forms for a half an hour (heart rate ave. 156 max 256, but I think that was a blip), Stretch, Back7:30 Intermediate Kung Fu 1 hour bitch of a test 

Wednesday4:30 AM – Elliptical trainer carrying 10 lbs weights curling for 15 minutes, Situps, Pushups, Stretching4:00 PM – Forms for a half an hour, Stretching7:00 PM – Beginner Kung Fu Class 1 hr; Intermediate Class 1 hour

 Thursday4:30 AM – Elliptical trainer 10 lbs for about 20 minutesAfternoon – got of work late, ate dinner late 

FridayNothing – got up late, got off work late went to the bar 

Saturday10:30 – Intermediate class 1 hr serious OUCH class 

Sunday11:00 – Beginner class with Mr. Sun 1 hr.  Then another hour of working chin na with Aaron, a 250+ lbs all muscle.

 Monday (MLK day)Nothing… I forgot my gym bag when I left the house
Tuesday3:30 AM – Elliptical trainer carrying 10 lbs weights curling for 15 – 20 minutes, Stretching3:30 PM – Forms for 15 minutes; Side stepping 15 minutes; hamstring curls7:30 PM – Intermediate Kung-Fu… and Sifu decided he wanted to hurt us {sigh} 

OK, some people look at this and say, Joe, you’re NUTS!  That’s too much working out.  You are going to get bored; you’re going to get injured; you’re going to get burned out!  I say phish tosh! (I really do say stuff like that, people think I’m nuts) Please note what happened on Thursday, Friday and Monday.  I used every opportunity I could, without sacrificing family time, to work out.  A lot of people would say that’s inconsistent, and I agree.  The issue is in today’s mad cap world where you can’t guarantee that you won’t get a phone call from your boss at 3:00 and miss your afternoon workout (not that would ever happen).  Our bodies were created to work hard repeatedly for days on end… then to rest.  It’s not the most effective way to build up muscle, but it serves a purpose.  In my humble opinion overtraining can shake you up, get you over a hump or even help you focus on a goal.  You must have the right mind set though:- You are in it for the long haul.  So don’t sweat it when your boss calls, that’s why you are working out hard, to allow the universe or fate to fill in your “Rest days”- Don’t think that every day has to have the same amount of work out in it.  Be flexible.- As cliché as it is… listen to your body.  Injuries happen when you don’t.- Be realistic, if fate hasn’t intervened for 8 days straight it’s time to take your fate in your own hands and have a day off. I like overtraining… I just know it won’t last forever. 

I didn’t sleep last night.  Well, actually that isn’t true; I slept from about 10:00PM until about 1:00AM.  I’m sure you are curious as to why this occurred.  Well… I won’t go into details on an open blog, but I’m angry at someone.  In truth, it’s also due to dread because I have to speak to the person I’m angry at.  I also have to be civilized when I discuss this issue.  Not an easy task.  NOPE, not an easy task at all. Thus, I’m going to use it to further my goals of betterment.  So I’m nervous and scared.  Hence, the lack of sleep.

Anger is a funny thing.  When I was in high school and even in grade school I was always angry.  I hid it well, but I was always angry at something.  I think a lot of that was hormones and lack of experience.  Still, I’ve always had an issue dealing with the anger.  Note, I said dealing with the anger not hiding it.  I’m really good at hiding it, or at least I used to be really good at it.

Let’s discuss the lack of sleep and how it relates to my path for 2008.  I admit I “helped” myself go to sleep last night with alcohol.  Since I haven’t been officially asked yet to test, I justified it as it doesn’t matter if I have a couple drinks.  It was a justification and it wasn’t even a good one.  Still, I woke up, and this issue popped into my head.  It not only popped into my head, but it built a nest and settled in for the duration.  So this idea ended up being like that song you just can’t get out of your head, only draining a lot of my energy along the way.  Now any idiot (of which I include myself) can see that this was very unhealthy.  I already don’t want to confront this person; do I really need to go over the fictitious discussion in my head ad infinitum?

Meditation: Controlling your thoughts so that they don’t control you.  Last night, my thoughts controlled me and boy, let me tell you how bad that sucked.  Meditation is a goal of mine.  Finding 15 – 30 minutes a day shouldn’t be that hard.  I seem to have trouble doing it most days.  Even finding 5 – 10 minutes is a trick.  Meditation is the key to a lot of things, but last night all the techniques failed me… and for good reason!!!!

When cold/flu season comes, the pediatric books tell you to teach your toddler how to blow his nose while he’s healthy.  It’s easier to learn and develop the skill; then when the inevitable sniffles appear, voila! He can blow his nose.  The same is true about meditation.  Well not the exact same, since you can’t get a toddler to sit still at all and it’s considerably less gross, but you get the point.  My few minutes here and there did not prepare me for the assault.  Yes I used the term assault.  My mind assaulted me yesterday. Yes it’s possible; more than possible, it happens all the time.

Which leads us back to anger… an emotion left unchecked can cause a lot of havoc.  Yelling at your wife or kid can come back to haunt you with the inevitable “why did I do that?!?!”  People say emotions aren’t of the mind, they are of the heart.  Well, that’s all pretty talk, but it’s full of crap.  Emotions come from the mind.  That thought that triggers a memory which triggers a feeling which triggers a reaction.  It all begins with a thought.  Control your thoughts, you control everything.  As Sifu always says, I am not my thoughts, I have a mind but I am a soul.  

I used to explore this thought when I was a child.  You can’t be just your thoughts.  Two people who have the same experience view it in different ways.  Whether you believe in something more or not, we have something in us that makes us unique.  Whether it is chemical or spiritual, there is something special about every living being.  The secret is recognizing the thought; that is why meditation is necessary.  If you can still your mind from the utter clutter we all possesses, you can recognize the trigger before it becomes something else.

That’s all well and good but how?  Well, I’m going to find out this year.  I only know rule number 1, you can’t start your practice of meditation during the most angry and fearful times and expect it to help you.  It’s just like blowing your nose…  or something like that.

Well, I’ve given out this address to a few close friends that I thought wouldn’t tease me about it too much.  I figure the only person that probably looks at it is Mac, since he has it on RSS.  I haven’t even given the address to my wife, because despite the fact that she is very supportive, she thinks I bite off more than I can chew too often.  So, today I want to discuss Supplements.  Specifically, I want to discuss the 2-5 Rule of thumb.  Since most of my friends have heard me talk about my 2-5 Rule of Health supplements, I’m sure most are going to stop reading right about now.

A long time ago I started preaching the 2-5 Rule to friends and anyone who would listen.  It goes this way: Any health supplement, no matter how good, can only help you meet your health goal by a maximum of 2%.  No matter how many health supplements you take, combined they can only help you reach your health goal by 5%.  Hence, the 2-5 rule.  Notice I state this in no uncertain terms, “any health supplement, no matter how good.”  Even Steroids (I’ll talk more about this later on since it seems appropriate with the hearings going on) and medically prescribed drugs.

I’m sure a lot of you (if there were a lot of people reading this) would be saying “no way!”  But stay with me, this is a journey, not a destination.  Let’s look at the normal health supplements, like creatine.  Supposedly (and if you want information about what creatine is I suggest: http://www.building-muscle101.com/article2.html), it helps muscle recovery, helps strength gains and also helps endurance athletes.  If you believe some people in the “supplement” community, it’s also what Jesus used to allow him to walk on water.  No matter how much creatine you take though, if you don’t work out, it don’t do jack!  The only way it does anything is by putting in the time and sweat.

This seems obvious when you think about a weight lifting supplement, but what about steroids and medically prescribed weight loss drugs.  Let’s start with the later, because it will clarify the former.  Medically prescribed weight loss drugs, which from here on out will be referred to as THE PILL (insert dramatic music).  I’m over weight. I go to the doctor, tell him I’ve tried every diet, I’ve tried every exercise, I’ve even tried the ab-roller thingie I saw on TV (funny story, my doctor actually used the ab-roller until his back went out on him while doing it).  “Doctor, please help me!” I say frantically.  “Ok, over-weight person, we have a fix for this, it’s called THE PILL.  You take THE PILL every day, before each meal, for the rest of your life and THE PILL, will keep you healthy!”.  Sounds good! But truthfully, while some doctors might say that, most would truthfully say it will keep your weight low, because it probably won’t help your health. 

This person (I can’t do the first person thing for too long) will be on THE PILL for the rest of their life, or as long as they want to keep their weight down.  They’ll deal with the side-effects (have you ever taken a med that didn’t have a side effect) because they want to keep their weight down.  So you say this doesn’t meet the 2-5 Rule.  And I would agree with you if the fitness goal was strictly to keep your weight down.  But a fitness goal is generally multi-leveled.  Your primary goal might be to keep your weight off so you look good.  The assumption is you want to keep the weight off because you want to enjoy a better quality of life.  You want to be healthier.  You want to live longer and enjoy the years that you have left.  You want to improve yourself.  If you just want to keep your weight low, I suggest you get some help, because that’s the path that often leads to eating disorders.  The 2-5 rule (which I used to think doesn’t work in these cases) still applies because it’s all about the why!  So by taking THE PILL your weight will stay down, but you haven’t changed your eating path. So the same crap is going into your body (maybe less depending on the pill).  Your quality of life might actually go down because of any side effects and most importantly you haven’t improved your WILL, you’ve weakened it.  This sounds to me like THE PILL gives you less than 2%.  IMHO the will is possibly the most important ingredient.  The will.

In my dojo, it’s talked about a lot.  Strengthen the will.  Every time you follow through to a promise to yourself, you strengthen it.  Every time you give up on a promise, you weaken it.  It’s internal, but it’s the important part of any fitness goal.  This is the staying power.  The stronger you build the will, the longer you can get the salad instead of the fried Twinkies.  The more often you get up at 3:30 in the morning, because you want to get that workout in.  It’s long lasting too, if you did get the fried twinkies, it’s the thing that gets you back on the wagon.  Supplements are in truth a weakness to many, because you get dependent on them doing some of the work.  Even if you found 10 supplements that together make everything easy, it means you missed out on the opportunity and the life-building experience of doing it the hard way.  You are back down to 5%.

Let’s talk steroids, since that is all over the news.  A friend of mine took a set of steroids back in college.  He told me about the experience.  He told me about the side-effects (despite only taking half the dosage his “supplier” recommended).  He told me in detail about all the negative things that happened to him, whether it was almost getting caught with them in his gym bag, to feeling really crappy about “cheating” and even the loss of sleep that was caused by the steroid.  He said one other thing that I have to bring up.  He said they worked.  He never made gains in strength and size so quick. He couldn’t believe the size of his arms and chest.  It really made the difference.  I’m sure you know the type of damage that they cause as well, if not see someone who knows more than me, I know just enough biology to sound like I know what I’m talking about, which makes me dangerous.  Still, it did what it promised to do.  Steroids promise to increase your size and strength; they fulfill their promise.  You are prone to injury because of the speed of the gains and supposedly because of the damage that it does to your cartilage and muscles.  On top of that, when you stop taking them, you lose the gains. 

If you were to tell me that a kid was taking steroids because he wanted more strength gains, I would say, he’s an idiot, but go ahead.  Natural selection.  He’s losing his opportunity to build his will through hard work by taking a short cut.  IMHO, because of the speed and visibility of the gains, it’s much worse then something like creatine. If you were to tell me that an athelete was taking steroids so that he could make it to the pros.  I would say, he’s an idiot; he’s squandering any chance he gets at being healthy; he’s cheating and encouraging (subtly) other people to cheat; he’s wasting and cheapening the talent that he does have; he’s spoiling the sport and all those who play it for fun; I can understand the motivation.  Now, if you were to tell me a professional athlete in the prime of his career was taking steroids to improve his performance, I would say that he will never enjoy a moment of his career after that, and shouldn’t.  When I was testing for my second yellow sash, during one period where we were “staying warm” (actually it’s a torture they use on you) I was doing pushups along with the other guys.  I slowed down and stopped because I mentally couldn’t push myself harder.  To this day, I still feel guilty for that.  I know physically I could have done more, but mentally I gave up.  It was only one of the many minor concessions I made during the test.  I could list others because I still feel my achievement was cheapened, albeit slightly, by the concessions.  I can’t imagine a pro-athlete, who gets paid for what most people do for fun, can look themselves in the face, or their children’s faces, or their fan’s faces.  Ever. 

In my martial art’s school (Dojo), you get told that you are a test potential.  Sifu (the instructor) calls you into his office, says there is a test on such and such day.  He then tells you that you are a potential for that test and when he gives you a topic for the paper (yes there is a written paper with every test) then you are know you are allowed to test.  In between that time, he looks at your forms, your chin na and your attitude.  That’s how things are supposed to work.  Yesterday, one of the guys who was supposed to test last time (but bowed out), told me that the green sash test is coming up on February 23^rd.  Since I was supposed to test the past two green sash tests, I assume that I’m a potential.  Thus the process has started.

Goals are important, but if they aren’t measurable or if they can’t be tested it’s hard to say if you have accomplished them.  That’s why my path to be a better husband and father will be one of the most difficult issues I need to address.  My path to be a better martial artist is pretty easy.  It’s the process of turning green.

Green sash in my dojo is pretty important step.  It signifies you being a senior student.  It allows you to enter weapons class.  It allows you to start third form.  Don’t get me wrong, there are a couple green sashes that aren’t that “good”, but most of them are great.  So, to say I can pass this test, it means that my forms and chin na are adequate and that my focus and will are strong enough.  Did I mention that two days before the physical part of the test is a meditation test?  Yep, Sifu feels strong enough about meditation that he makes us sit for an hour.  His rational is that you either are meditating regularly to sit for that long, or you have a pretty strong will.  Yes, I think he’s a bit of a sadist.

So, when I say the process of turning green, what do I mean?  I actually have two points to make.  The first is the most subtle.  Let’s say February 24^th comes and I pass.  Yea me.  But I have found in my previous tests that even though you get the sash you don’t really become a green sash for a long time.  The first class you go to with your new rank generally sucks.  I don’t know exactly why it is, but I have a suspicion.  You get your new rank, and you walk in thinking, wow, I’m at this level now.  I passed the test.  Yea me.  You know that it’s about the destruction of the ego, but you still pat yourself on the back a little bit.  Then the class starts and despite your pretty new rank, you still suck as bad as you did before.

The rank itself didn’t make you any better.  Think Wizard of Oz in reverse.  You get the fancy new watch in your chest, but you don’t feel any different.  So your first class is a lesson in humiliation.  You keep expecting Sifu to take away your new sash.  Truth be told, every time I’ve moved up, I haven’t felt like I really deserved the rank for almost a year after I obtained it.  I think I probably am a pretty good Second Yellow.  There are better, but I’m pretty good.  When I was ready to test for Yellow, I felt pretty good about it, because I missed my first opportunity.  The funny thing is, I don’t feel very ready to be green despite missing two tests and being over a year “behind”.  I wake up really early in the morning, so I don’t make it to advanced class much.  One or two sections of the test are sparring and I’m going to be eaten for lunch.    {sigh}

The second thing I mean about the process of turning green is less subtle.  I need to be in the best shape of my life, physically and mentally in about 6 weeks.  I weigh 202 lbs.  I have a ton of flab.  My wind is terrible (I’m still coughing from the cold I had almost a month ago).  My flexibility is nil (it’s amazing how fast lying on a couch can ruin your flexibility).  So I’m screwed.  My path, I’m going to cut out the beer.  Pass on the crap that people keep bringing into work.  Work out hard. And most importantly, go to class.

Since I recovered from the cold (for the most part), I’ve made it to class about 2 -3 times a week.  On the plus side, I’ve done some type of workout almost every day.  Unfortunately I haven’t worked out hard enough to improve my aerobic level that much.  So my morning workouts are becoming more intense.  I’m including abdominal work into it and of course stretching.  I’m going to also include my form as often as possible.  The problem is time.  I only get about a 40 minute work out in at best, despite waking ungodly early.  So, waking earlier still is not an option.  My workout has to be a lot more focused then ever before.

My goal needs to be: to drop weight – it would be nice to lose 10 pounds and increase my aerobic level – I need to be able to do each form forward and mirror image about 20 times each.  That means that I have to do 80 cycles of my form.  Oy, that’s going to hurt.

As to actual class, I need to get my butt in there and work.  Work my chin na, my form, and my basics.  And I need to do it at least three times a week if not four.  My wife understands this is important to me, but I can’t step outside of the boundaries of the days she has set aside for my practice (lest I lose sight of the “be a better husband/father” part).  This is going to be a challenge.  Not to mention I really need to make it to the late advance class, which is going to suck to the nth degree at 4:00 in the morning.

So the point of this is, I have a measurable for one of my paths.  So the path has a goal!  Now I need to live my life in such a way to obtain that goal.  And not fall off one of my other paths.  Dear Lord, this is getting complicated.

Most of you know, that my martial art’s instructor Sifu Brown puts out CD’s of his Thursday night meditation talks.  Since I’ve been out of the Dojo for a while, I picked up a bunch on Saturday.  Listening to one on the way into work, I had a flat forehead moment.  (FYI: Flat Forehead moment- the moment when you slap yourself on the forehead and go wow or sometimes duh)

He was talking about a study run where a husband and wife had to pick out what would be the other’s favorite “gift.”  According to Sifu, the study was performed twice, once recently and once 30 years ago or so.  Keep in mind, Sifu doesn’t site his sources so it could be Paul Harvey or Richard Pryor.  Anyway, in the recent test, neither the man nor woman picked their spouse’s top three items.  Not one item!  Also according to Sifu, when the study was run 30 years ago, the results were better.  Now, keep in mind that 86% of all statistics are made up on the spot and Sifu might have been saying this to prove his point.  The point was we are so “connected” that we don’t connect any more.  We don’t talk about the other person’s likes or dislikes.  For that matter, I doubt we know our own likes and dislikes. 

Years ago I asked my dad, “were you happy” when he was working.  He said something to the effect that he never really thought about it that much.  He did his job.  He enjoyed his “guys” at work, but he didn’t really think about his own happiness.  He lived his life.  My point is, people seem really unhappy today.  They think about their happiness all the time.  “I want an Xbox2400, and a new car.”  “Man, it would be nice to have {fill in the blank with your own lottery dream}”.  We surf the net to find out all the happenings of our world.  We find all the neato toys on TV.  Yet, the most important people in your life, you don’t know what they think about the happenings of the world because they are concerned with the happenings in some other part of the world.  Your common discussion point is lost, because of the amount of information you have accessible.  Back 50 years ago, my dad and mom read two different papers.  My dad like the Detroit News; my mom liked the Royal Oak Tribune.  Their world was very similar in that respect.  I’m sure they talked about my dad’s work day, which was probably not very exciting; I’m sure they talked about my mom’s experience with us kids during the day.  Their lives had different elements, but were rooted the same way.

I give one advice to friends thinking of getting engaged (when they tell me their going to get engaged before hand… hint hint Dave), look at all the things that annoy you about your soon-to-be spouse and make sure that you can handle that for the rest of your life.  Really look at their inadequacies or their emotional attributes that stick you in the eye every now and again.  Everyone has them.  If you can live with those, day in and day out, and be happy, you’ll probably make it.  

I believe that you will never know a person 100%.  Especially since people evolve over time.  The key is to stay aware of your partner.  To love them, talk to them, interview them.  I don’t think that was necessary a long time ago.  Now-a-days, there is just too much thrown at you, too many differences, or options.  None of us are rooted the same way.  So it’s more important to stay in touch or “check-in” as they say. And it’s too darn easy to let it slip by.

BUT how do you expect to check in with someone else when you don’t have a clue about yourself.  Before you ask your spouse how his/her day was, ask yourself how your day was.  I think the previous generation or two were a lot more in touch with themselves then all the touchy feely sensitivity gurus put together.  They didn’t have as much information and entertainment pouring into them. 

Also to the point, I believe that you should not be concerned about happiness.  For that matter, dwelling on happiness I think is the root of being unhappy.  The Dalai Lama said that you must be happy, not think about being happy.  Or as Sifu says, Happiness is a choice.  Ok, before everyone who has struggled with depression jumps down my throat, that’s not what I meant.  There is depression.  There are issues that people need to deal with, and people that need professional help.  Thank God there are people who are doing research into that

What I mean is people yearn for happiness.  They seek it out.  I know I used to run around to every club I could find.  And the more I did, the more I found out one thing.  I loved dancing.  It made me happy. The secret is: I didn’t always need to be dancing to be happy.  I didn’t need anything to make me happy.  I just liked being happy too.  I think my dad was happy and is happy.  I just don’t think he likes to think about it much.

I’m back.  Christmas vacation is over.  I met with friends, drank good beer and ate good food.  I’m back to 200 lbs.  {sigh}

Yet I digress, this is about relationships.  I had the pleasure of meeting with an old friend of mine who is studying for her PhD in Psychology…. Or is it a Masters… I always forget.  Anyway, she’s smarter than me obviously.  We talk about her research a lot.  It’s about what I believe she calls “Disassociation: the process of falling un-in-love.”  It’s an interesting subject.  Basically, she is looking at what happens in the process of a breaking up of a marriage.  Not the end result, but the process.  She thinks (and I agree completely) that there is a stage where you avoid conflict and stop associating as a couple, that’s when things go to heck in a hand-basket.  I remember it from my previous relationship very well… so well that it actually turns my stomach remembering it.  I’m sure most people can remember it in their life, because of that gut-wrenching horror.  I remember one girlfriend I had a long time ago.  I knew she was going to break up with me, because she was thanking me for stuff I did.  It was a different type of thank you.  One you would use for a stranger that did something nice.   In truth, this sense of wrongness I was getting was from her disassociating with me.  This leads directly to my goals and it’s something that I figured out after my last girlfriend.  I want to be a good husband.  You can’t let the fragile silences linger.  It never becomes easier to discuss issues that come up.  And unfortunately it becomes easier to ignore the silences.  In most cases, you know when something’s up.  A majority of the time, it comes up in those 3 – 4 days of the month that she’s… “not herself”.  That’s when minor annoyances that normally she forgives and forgets come out and bite you.  Those are the things you have to act on, because little things make a big difference over the course of decades.

Second thing we talked about is the similarities between published nutritional research and published psychological research.  The problem, as a person who studied Physics and Computer Science knows, is one of variables.  If you wrote down every caveat and weakness of your research, you would never get published.  But in nutritional and psychological research it’s neigh impossible to get apple to apple comparisons.  The human being varies too much.  For example, if you want to study people who eat more fish than people that eat no fish, you have to make sure all the known big variables are the same.  Those big variables are probably main physical impairment (say arthritis), big health contributors (parent and sibling health records), environmental issues (smoking, geographical location), main food and supplementation (vegetarian, omnivore).  But if you want to compare two people, something will be different, and it’s not necessarily the big one that gets you (case in point, one person might have had a broken bone when they were a child aggravating the arthritis).

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against research; I’m against the press advertising research.  The media hears something like “Fish Oil caused a decrease of pain in arthritic 50 year-olds by 30% in 75% of the sample population”.  What the press (and sometimes nutritional gurus) advertises is that FISH OIL CURES ARTHRITIS! The Excuse: The facts are too hard to report and people have too limited attention spans.  Yep… and who’s fault is that!  I feel sorry for my friend. She’s going to publish a fine paper on her research (she’s already published at least one paper).  That paper is going to be as honest as she could make it, and some where down the line, despite a carefully stated conclusion, her years of research will be summed up into a few sentences someplace that will ignore all the nuances of her work.  Be careful… you might be the person that’s reading it.